Be Anxious for Nothing

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." Philippians 4:6

This verse has been running through my mind for about a week now. I have been feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed or tad bit depressed( I hesitate to use the "d" word but I think we all go through a little of it sometimes). I know we have a lot going on in our lives right now but to be perfectly honest, when do we not? We are at the stage in our lives where financially we could make some big changes, job and housing wise. We don't have a mortgage for the time being, our bills are really at an all time minimum and I am homeschooling again so we don't have a BIG private school expense. So if we were going to change things, now would be the time. BUT..... we don't feel lead to do anything else. Steve leaving his crazy, hectic, time consuming job would be wonderful for our family life and his stress level but he has looked into and prayed about a couple of other options and really does not feel pulled to leave his job. He really feels lead to prothelitize to others at work since he is the only Christian there. That is a huge responsibility and he feels like maybe that is why he is there. So, we are plunge headlong into building our house out here in the country. Living life close to grandparents is so ideal. It is really the only reason we moved back to East Texas. I'm not really sure what my hesitations are. I absolutely love living out here. The quiet and country has been great for the kids. And now that my dad is working less, the boys are going to be able to spend unbelievable quality time with him. We are truly blessed. SO, why do we feel anxious. Maybe its because we have been really focused on ourselves and not God and others. We keep thinking that once we get our home built we will have people over and serve our friend and family more. But why can't we do that now. Just because I live in a small place doesn't mean I can't invite someone over for a meal or even just a snack! We keep waiting for the next thing and planning for the future and not relishing in the unique situation that God has placed us in. We are here for God's purpose and pleasure not ours. If I could only focus and meditate on that.

The King James Version puts the same verse this way....

"Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God." Philippians 4:6

What if we lived our lives according to this version. Not be anxious but "do not be careful". What if we lived our lives carelessly for God. One definition of careful is "full of cares or anxiety". Wouldn't that be an amazing life? Christ said to Martha, "Thou art careful and troubled about many things"-Luke 10.41. What if we lived in the moment and truly believed that God would care for our every need. I know this but I don't think I believe it yet. I can only pray with thanksgiving that I may one day live "carelessly" for God. I am not really sure why I am writing this. Maybe to get my feelings out and move on. Maybe encouragement. What ever the reason, I feel lead. My life is by no means together and sometimes you just need to say that out loud.