I Have to Confess.....

After yesterday's post, I guess this one seems a little selfish but I just had to share. Days like today are a little hard for me as a homeschooling mom. Today is the first day of school for Christian Heritage School (where Ethan went last year). It's 8:30 am and I can' t help thinking that I could have just dropped my kiddos off and have the whole day to myself. Even as I read back over that last sentence it seems so incredibly selfish but the carnal part of me thinks how fun that would be. I could come home and clean with out interruption. I could grocery shop without complaining. I could have lunch with husband and actually complete an entire sentence. I could come home, read my book and take a nap, wake up refreshed and begin dinner without incident. I could pick up my kids, who would have had a wonderfully perfect day ;), and spend the rest of the evening enjoying their company and spending QUALITY time with them.

Doesn't that seem all so wonderful?

Then reality creeps back in and slams me in the head. I would have done all of those things without the joy of my children's laughter, wonderfully inquisitive questions & comments and most of all their presence. I have to keep encouraged because to be perfectly honest, I LOVE BEING WITH MY CHILDREN. For the past few years I have been so focused on trying to "school" my kids, I have forgotten that the reason why I homeschool in the first place is because I love spending time with my two precious boys. God has truly given me the desire of my heart, I just forget that sometimes.

All of that to say, even though spending a day by myself doing all of those things above would be a pleasant reprieve from my life, I would only enjoy it for that one day. When I really think about the fact that they would actually be gone for about 36 weeks, I realize I would be totally miserable for the rest of the time.

So, I am off to watch "Peep" with my youngest son who just about 5 minutes ago woke up, ran into my arms and is sitting in my lap while I finish typing this. Why would I want to miss a single moment of his life?