Where Has the Last Two Weeks Gone?

Life has been pretty crazy around here.  Crazier than usual.  People always tell me that I am so busy they don't know how I do it all.  Well, it just 8 months we have gone from a family of 4 total to a family of 4 boys.   Two weeks ago we got our second foster placement.   Steve and I had gone back and forth on about whether or not we would take more until "Little Bit" was adopted.  We had no idea at the beginning of all of this just how long this process would take.  We recently found out that adoption probably won't happen until the fall or possible next year depending on his bio dad's appeal.  Now the frustrating part is that dad is in prison and has no chance bc of past criminal history of violence and drugs of getting him back.  And in reality his bio dad has only been with him for a grand total of a month of his life anyway but something I am learning is that a lot of children in foster care are viewed as possesions to their parents.  It's not really about the child to them at all.  It's an attitude of "They are mine and you can't tell me that I can't have them".  Which is tradjic for those children who are returned to these parents.  But I could go on for days about this.... that's not what this post is about.

Our newest little guy is a 4 month old precious little boy that we call " Lumpling" around here.  He is adorable, squishy and smiles ALL of the time.  I can't tell you how sweet he is.  Although I can not go into specifics about his case, I will say this is much different than our first time fostering.  I have already met his mother and we are working together with CPS and my doctor to help his mom learn to care for him.  She really seems like a nice person who is either going through postpartum depression or just generally needs some coping skills and parenting classes.  She has profusely thanked me for taking care of him and said that takes comfort in the fact that he is in a good place right now.  It is such an ideal fostering experience for us.  We get to love on this little boy knowing that he is going to go home soon to a loving family that will care for him as an individual child and that she doesn't view him as an extension of her.  It feels like you are doing such a good thing in situations like this.

I won't say that this hasn't been hard though!!  It has for sure.  Fostering is not for the weak at heart and definitley not for control freaks like me.  I have had to give up so much of what I want or the idea that things have to be my way.  Nothing is in my control with two foster babies in the home.  I intended to write this post about what my schedule has been like for the past two weeks.  But I think that would seem like complaining and I don't want to.  Let's just say that the past two weeks have been the worst and the best of my life.  The realization that life is not about you and that God is so much bigger and in so much more control than me is such a comforting place to be.

We are still not sure what we are going to do after "Lumpling" goes home, which we think will be in a few weeks.  We are going to lay it all at His feet.  We truly are seeking God's plan for us not ours.

I do know we would like some sleep first though :)